🎙 60. How To Succeed as a Multi-Passionate Being in a World Ruled by Excessive Productivity
the spiritual 9-5 podcast transcript
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Episode Published on January 23, 2024
Transcript:
Intro to the intro —
If you ever think or feel like you are not doing enough to get the results that you desire in any area or aspect of your life, this episode is for you, most especially if you are multi-passionate.
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Welcome back to The Spiritual 9-5 Podcast where the vibe is to be kind and stay in your work.
This podcast is here to support you in your day to day, to help you see and know yourself a little bit deeper, and to inspire you to show up in what you are here to do whether that be your 9-5 or entrepreneurship or art or philanthropy or watching Netflix on your couch or a combination of all of those.
I’m your host, Marie Groover. I’m the founder of The Corporate Psychic and Essential Teams, which are two businesses that are here to do the same – inspire you to show up doing what you came here to do, and to bring the soul back into the office.
I am so excited to bring you this episode, today.
If you haven’t, please leave the show a 5 star rating. And if this episode resonates, consider saving it and sharing it with someone you think it would resonate with too.
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One thing that’s true about me is that my mind is addicted to the thought “I’m not doing enough.” or “I didn’t do enough.”
In any form that you can imagine.
Joyfully heading to Christmas dinner, excited to see everyone, I think “I didn’t get enough gifts.” or “I didn’t do enough for everyone for Christmas this year.” or “Damn, I could have done better there.”
Leaving my friend’s house feeling full of connection and inspiration, my mind says to me “I could be a better friend.” “I don’t call them enough.” “I don’t see them enough”
When it comes to work – oh sweet baby G – most especially in my business on a DAILY basis, I think “I could be doing more.” “I should be doing more.” or “I am not doing enough.” “If I did more, things would happen faster.” “If I did more, I would see better results.”
And enough already, I say to my mind, as my mind responds back with “If only I meditated more, I probably wouldn’t be having these thoughts.”
You get the point.
One thing that’s true about me is that my mind loves to hijack my present joy or contentment with some variation of the idea that I should be doing more or that I’m not doing enough.
Is this familiar to you listener, or is this just me?
If this is familiar to you, you may both love and hate the remainder of this episode. Because the point in this episode, or at least one of them, and the medicine today is: less is actually more.
How do we break the chain of never enough? I don’t know if I have THE answer to that question (though I do have some solid suggestions – let me know if you’re interested).
And for this episode I offer two things. I offer to you a practice that I have adopted. Because this is a practice that has helped me regain a sense of steadiness and calm and undeniable momentum and evidence that allows me to not accept every invitation from the mind that says, I’m not doing enough.
And then, the second thing, I offer some useful, tangible, material tips for working with the mind, when you notice it’s gone off the rails again.
And for the practice: I call this just one good thing. And it’s as simple as completing just one good thing toward my goals, every single day. Credit to my coach Rae Dohar who has contributed immensely to my development of this very simple framework.
Just one good thing.
The concept behind Just One Good Thing is radical incrementalism and trusting the process.
I read something recently that said if you read 10 pages per day, you’ll read 15-20 books per year. But if you sprint through books, stop and start again, you may or may not read as much.
I have no idea what the validity is or where the evidence lives behind this quote that I read. Pretty sure I read it on LinkedIn. As I was prepping for this episode, I tried to find it again and I found all sorts of different quotes and numbers and so rather than focusing on the example specifics, let’s take a moment with the concept.
I think there is wisdom here. And that wisdom says if you commit to doing something small every day, like reading only and exactly 10 pages, you will read many books over time. You can’t not, if you are consistently reading 10 pages per day.
When you do something, no matter how small, consistently – you build momentum, and compound results and productivity or progression toward your goals (and reaching them) becomes inevitable.
But where we often go off the rails is when we try to like GO ALL IN, all at once.
I dated a guy a while back who would be a really great example for this. He would essentially wake up feeling out of shape and then go run 5 miles, having not run in months. And then he would do this daily for like 3 days, sometimes an entire week, and then get injured. Then not be able to run or work out for a bit, and then at some point circle back around and the cycle would begin again.
If we amplify this, which I would like to because I can fall into the trap of being the type of person who also does this, but to an even greater extreme. I like to plan. I like to decide what I’m going to accomplish – not just physically to run 5 miles, not just in my business to serve a certain number of people, not just in my hobbies, or my surfing, or my infinite number of side projects, or in, I don’t know, where I want to travel, but in ALL the things. And, I am about as multifaceted as they come. When ambition meets a multi-faceted human, the list of goals and milestones and measurements and plans to achieve EVERYTHING – it gets pretty long. And if you’re someone like me, it’s not a question of if something is possible, it’s how. And I’ll figure out the how, time and time again. If there’s anything about me, it’s I’m going to come up with a plan to do it all. And so for me, rather than just running 5 miles every day before my body is ready to, I have like an ENTIRE week of shit to do, for every single week, where every single day can look like a marathon that I’ve never trained for.
And, it begins to make sense why the brain, for these types of people, i.e., me says “you’re not doing enough” all the time, because inevitably when you have 800,000 things to do and do well, you’ll never fucking do them all or do them all well.
And so, I’m not going to say that you have to pick just one thing to focus on. Because if you are multi-faceted, multi-talented, multi-passionate, or just have ADHD, like myself, picking one thing is probably not the solution. And, you might know this, because you’ve probably already tried it – maybe more than once.
But what I will say is that you don’t have to do everything all at once. And that one thing at a time is enough. And if you consistently do just one thing that you are capable of, that is sustainable, you will make far more progress, far faster, than if you try to do everything all at once and then burn out and then immediately come back strong with everything all at once again.
Just one good thing means literally just one good thing. Every single day. That’s it.
I’ve been practicing Just One Good Thing since May or June of 2023, and this was my process.
I wrote down a list of all the things that I felt I needed to be doing on a regular and consistent basis, all of the things that I would do daily if I could do them all in one day. I broke it down by my businesses and my priorities, and I made a hierarchy.
Then I pinned that list to the top of my Notes in my iPhone, so that I could reference it really easily, all the time, anytime I wasn’t sure what I would do.
Then every day I picked one thing off of my list and I did that one thing fully and well. Sometimes I did more than one thing. But sometimes I just did one thing. And on the days that I didn’t feel like doing anything, I picked something small and did it anyway. And on the days that I wanted to do work on something, but I didn’t know what to do because my energy was a little chaotic or scattered – the days that historically I would come up with a new project or side task or something else to focus on – I picked one thing off the list. And I did that before letting myself go off the rails. Then, I let myself go off the rails.
And then I changed my measurement for success, for enoughness, to Just One Good Thing. My question was “Did I do Just One Good Thing today?” If yes, I was successful. If no, I reminded myself that it’s never too late to do even something small before bed. So I asked myself this question everyday. The measurement for success was daily. Not weekly, not monthly, not quarterly, but daily. “Did I do Just One Good Thing today?” If yes, check. Successful. If no, there’s still time, Marie. Just show up.
Why did I do this?
Because tiny actions build momentum. Because following through with what you promise yourself builds trust. And because it felt really good to know that I was making progress.
And how did I know that I was making progress? The same way you know you’ve read 20 books in one year. You see the stack of finished books on your bookshelf (or in your kindle, or wherever you keep your books). You see this stack over time, and then at some point you see the stack grow.
The stack of books doesn’t lie.
In doing Just One Good Thing, I created a process. I followed that process. And at the end of every week and every month I just reflected back on the material gains or the progress that resulted from my process. I looked for evidence (and found it) that the process was working in my businesses and also in my life.
And the progress feels small, infinitesimal, actually at first. When you finish one or two books and you see the stack, it can be easy to think, “Damn, I need to more, 2 books isn’t lot, I need to read faster, let’s add another 10 pages per day.” But patience, young grasshopper. The results compound, so give it some time before you double down.
Just One Good Thing is a framework or a process, that for me, I hope never ends. Because when my brain says “I’m not doing enough.” I can say, maybe I’m not doing everything, but I am doing enough. And as I look back on my compounded results, I can say to my brain, “Look at all the things that I’ve done! Look at all that we’ve accomplished together!”
What I will say is that – Just One Good Thing is a framework or process for staying in your work consistently. And this is really the value of this framework is that it builds a habit that is action-oriented and sustainable. It builds self trust. It builds trust in the process. It moves the needle consistently. It contributes and builds momentum that is really felt and witnessed over time.
It also allows you the freedom to let go of totally project managing your entire life, and to trust in yourself and your intuition more. It allows you spaciousness, while still, again, building momentum.
If you are like me, and you oscillate between being a type-a perfectionist who needs to check off all the boxes and being a free-spirit who needs to move when her intuition tells her to – Just One Good Thing is a framework that just might serve you well.
As for the not-enoughness of the mind..
Just One Good Thing over the last 7 months or so, helped me to adjust my mental conditioning – the little voice inside my head that loves to tell me that I’m not doing enough or could or should be doing more – it helped me to talk back to that little voice. But it didn’t completely quiet it.
I think it’s partially because trusting the process feels really scary and it takes time to build the trust required. Trusting the process requires you to release control and surrender. And, it’s scary because Just Doing One Good Thing everyday is not doing the MOST.
Now, there is research out there that says that doing the MOST is actually not always the most effective and doesn’t always produce the best results. And that there is actually a plateau point, where any additional effort or work no longer contributes to the overall result. There is a really great book on this – the name of the book is escaping me right now – but the author actually breaks down the exact amount of effort required to get the specific and common results that we seek.
It’s quite interesting because many of us think, for example, that if we want to lose weight, or maybe put on muscle, that we have to do all sorts of things that will add all sorts of stress onto our schedules. And then we’ll go try to do all of those things. But actually, it’s not about doing everything, and instead it’s about doing specific things that are most effective – that usually take a lot less time and effort than we assume in advance.
Man, I wish I could remember the name of this book. If you know the book that I’m referring to, please email me or message me on LinkedIn with the title of it and the author’s name. I would love to add it to the show notes.
And the reason I’m bringing it up is because when my mind tells me that I’m not doing enough, I love to point to logic or research or evidence that says, “Actually brain, you’re wrong, and here’s why.”
Which brings me to the power of discerning what’s real and true via measurement or proof or evidence, and being honest with yourself with what you find.
If your brain says, “I’m not doing enough.” Rather than entertaining it, point blank, which is definitely what I used to do. Find evidence to either prove or disprove that thought.
If you think “I’m not doing enough at work.” Truly reflect back on your day – ask yourself, is this true? And in your reflection, reflect on just today, not yesterday or the entirety of your time as an employee because the brain can be super distortive in memory, and also very vague. But at the end of the day today – reflect. What did you do? What was the quality of how you showed up at work? Were you present? Did you show up in integrity? Be specific. Bring back specific examples into your mind of what you accomplished or how you spent your time.
Bonus points if you write it down. I.e. did you sit in front of your computer for 8 hours researching your horoscope and reading the news and listening to podcasts and texting with your friends? What else did you do in that 8 hours? Did you also reply to every single inbound email? Did you do the task that you promised your manager you would do? Did you meet with folks on that project that you’re managing, to ensure that it’s moving forward? How far forward has it moved? How did you contribute to that movement?
Maybe you didn’t show up PERFECTLY, doing the MOST, but maybe you did actually show up more than you’re giving yourself credit for. So what constitutes enough? What’s your measurement for being in integrity, not perfection? Where is the evidence that you either were or were not contributing meaningfully at work today?
Or in whatever it is that you do.
If you are really hard on yourself, I invite you to get a second opinion. Poll your co-workers who have visibility into your work and ask them if they think you are doing enough. Tell them that you are struggling with this intrusive thought and that you are looking for evidence of the truth.
And, this absolutely doesn’t just have to be about work, and work alone btw. In anything when we are feeling like “I’m not doing enough.” “I’m not contributing enough.” It’s helpful to pause and just ask ourselves – is that really true?
And then find the evidence to answer the question. Be specific. If we aren’t sure, it’s time to get a second opinion.
In 2023, these thoughts so so loud for me, I finally started acknowledging them and voicing them to people in my life, the people who I trust.
I polled my friends, “Am I a bad friend?” “Am I doing enough?”
I polled my clients. I polled the people in my life who had different vantage points for different elements in my life. I talked to my coach almost incessantly about this - thank you Rae – I voicenoted them on many different occurrences with this thought. I brought so many scenarios to the people closest to me for review.
I polled myself. I willed myself to look at the evidence, in the form of reality, and to compare it to the thoughts that run rampant in my brain.
I learned that I am often doing SO MUCH, sometimes too much, and that I am very rarely not actually doing enough.
So now, when these thoughts sneak in, I don’t take them so seriously. And I ask myself “Did I do Just One Good Thing today?” And if the answer is yes, I leave it.
And I invite to do the same, if this works for you. And I want to hear from you. If you have similar thoughts – how do you work with them? How do you bring yourself along? What’s a framework that you’ve found that works?
Find me on LinkedIn and message me directly, or shoot my team an email.
Remember: You can do everything, maybe just not all at once. And you don’t have to do the most to be the best or to trust yourself or to get things done. You can show up in small ways consistently and make really big strides. Trust the process. Trust yourself.
You are likely doing more than enough.
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Thank you so much for listening to The Spiritual 9-5 Podcast. I’m your host, Marie Groover, and I am beyond honored that you are here. Please follow, save and rate the show. And if you can, share your favorite episode with a friend. It makes the world of a difference.
Connect with me on LinkedIn, I would love to hear from you what you think about the show or my work – so don’t be shy. And, I’m always here to connect and support you or your business through coaching, team building and leadership development. You can find my work in the show notes.
And until next time, big love.
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